Although I have been an activist for a long time and during my college years helped lead a student protest movement for diversity, to this day I dread discussions about race, the feelings they bring up in myself and others, the conflict that arises, and the ultimate and inescapable dissatisfaction with the ways things end. But recently I've been stirred and inspired by Arun at Angry Asian Buddhist, and even more recently by posts and comments by Nathan at Dangerous Harvests, and Katie at Kloncke.
At the same time I am concerned by the generally unsatisfactory discussion about race and diversity on many Buddhist blogs. These discussions have been full of misunderstanding, misrepresentation, hurt feelings all around, blanket statements, and a general lack of compassion or insight. Its often as if we don't really hear what others are saying but are separately instead engaged in a discussion with ghosts from previous discussions with all the accumulated baggage. At times we shout past each other, selectively hearing and cherry picking what is said for more fuel to add to the fire. It is even more regrettable when these discussions involve Buddhists because there is just extra arrow added on top of extra arrow, increasing suffering and seemingly disdaining the skillful means we as Buddhists should be developing and practicing.
Why have or participate in these discussions then? For me personally at a certain level there really is no choice. From a very young age, standing up to racism or asserting myself in a forum with racial overtones was part of an existential struggle. I felt like if I didn't speak out, stand up and fight back, I would not exist as a person and any risk was worth taking to prevent that. Those times I was silent or didn't fight back, I would torture myself again and again remembering my failure, cowardice and humiliation and despising myself for my weakness.
With meditation I have started to realize that the cost of anger is a steep one - the loss of personal balance and objectifying the focus of my anger which in other words is dehumanization and doing to someone else the very thing I don't want to happen to me. That's not to say I still don't get angry but the intensity has lessened and its not as all consuming. There is the awareness on some sort of fundamental level that the anger is not me and I am more than just the anger. I can be somewhat objective and watch it as an observer.
Also there is the realization that not every battle has to be joined, not every comment answered. We can choose not to accept those "gifts" as Goenkaji calls them (reminded of this by a post on Kloncke). There is something powerful in standing up for oneself and fighting back. There is also something powerful about restraint, abstaining, taking the time and space to just be.
What comes next after the fighting and then the restraint and abstaining? How about a try for the middle way? I have been listening and working on Gil Fronsdal's Concentration series at Audio Dharma. At one point he describes concentration meditation like fishing - too much slack and the fish gets away, too forceful and the line will break. Perhaps these discussions on race needs to be the same - enough creative tension to get people thinking outside of their normal assumptions but not some much as to make them defensive. Easier said than done but adding compassion, trying out equanimity and remembering we are all in this together could help. What if at the point where someone says something that brings on very strong feelings of aversion and rejection - we try and label these feelings and then watch them with non reactive awareness? What would happen if we could get angry at someone else's limited and seemingly bigoted perspective but then put that feeling in a "larger container" and watch its power fade?
What if we could listen to each other for what lies behind our words?
Could there be a simple and shared desire to be heard, acknowledged and appreciated?
Would this premise be worth testing? How about a Buddhist bloggers' roundtable or panel discussion on different topics related to race, diversity and Buddhism? But the goal would not be to show how someone is wrong or convert others to your viewpoint, it would be to practice what Katie calls "mindful blogging" and do it in the challenging context of a dialogue about race, diversity and Buddhism.
Sooo... Anybody game? I guess this is somewhat presumptuous since it assumes people are actually reading my ramblings...Is anybody out there?
ps - just in case someone is out there, I want to again acknowledge influence and inspiration from Kloncke and Dangerous Harvests for this line of thought - thanks!
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Glad my posts were of inspiration. I think mindful blogging is a good term for what a lot of us struggle with. Reading some posts, I wonder if the writer thought about how their words would be taken before they clicked the post button. After a few sloppy posts early on in my blogging days, I decided I better watch more closely, especially when it comes to potentially volatile subjects. I think part of the challenge is knowing that whoever is reading your writing, that person doesn't have the privilege of seeing you in person, seeing how your body moves, facial expressions, etc. So, it's a challenge, I think - but not an impossible one.
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautifully put -- thank you for sharing your thoughts. I especially love this insight:
ReplyDelete"With meditation I have started to realize that the cost of anger is a steep one - the loss of personal balance and objectifying the focus of my anger which in other words is dehumanization and doing to someone else the very thing I don't want to happen to me."
This is a very difficult understanding to come to around racism, in my experience -- partly because, as you say, the stakes are so high, and the traumas/harms are so deep. Anger sometimes appears to be our only defense. But just as chemotherapy weakens the entire body, not just the cancerous cells, our anger is never limited to its particular object. It spills over and poisons our own psyches, too -- as well as indirectly harming, oftentimes, those near and dear to us. Imprudent use can cause major damage.
I guess it goes without saying that I would be totally down for a roundtable/panel discussion! I'd very much enjoy it. As I'm not much part of a Buddhist community yet, particularly online, I wouldn't know how to go about setting one up, or who to talk to, but I'd be excited and grateful for the chance to participate and meet/get to know some more folks!
Thanks again for your thoughts, for your encouragement, and for proposing this discussion! Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
hugs,
katie
@Nathan thanks for your comment and also for your interesting and insightful blogging. Yes it does feel like extended mindfulness of self, perception of self by others and perception of others through a more limited field of interaction. Actually much more challenging than I had thought. Do you have a process or method that you use?
ReplyDelete@Katie - the anger as chemotherapy analogy definitely resonates. Very glad to hear you are up for some sort of discussion. I am pretty new to this world and have had not had much online interaction yet. Would be good to try and get some folks that might be more comfortable if it was a "neutral" venue. I was also thinking about bouncing this off bloggers covering a range of views and seeing what they came back with. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteThanks for your great energy and ideas!
Good post. I commented on Progressive but will throw it out over here too...
ReplyDelete"Interesting post. Race and diversity are issues that get raised in almost any venue and not just in Buddhism. Common thread though that runs through is that it is a rough and tumble conversation in person, let alone in the disembodied world of online discussions.
Am I game? Always. But the venue is of prime importance. I would love to have a real-life, flesh and blood round table discussion over Race and Buddhism. Actually, even more important would be a capable moderator (maybe mediator).
Bantering back and forth on blogs, forums and emails is a start but very limited. Face-to-face communication is paramount."
That said, I would absolutely LOVE to see those you mentioned in your post as well as most in your blogroll to be able to round table these subjects. It would be an amazingly dizzying experience, to be sure.
Cheers again.
John
www.zendirtzendust.com
John,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments - I responded here: http://progressivebuddhism.blogspot.com/2010/02/race-diversity-and-buddhism-thoughts.html
but also wanted to say that it would totally be "an amazingly dizzying experience" and I'd like to see the same participants as you mention but to work I think it would have to be a group effort.
This is what I was thinking about in terms of how to make it happen:
1. Test the water: exploratory discussion, throw the issue out to different blogs/forums and see what comes back (starting to happen now)
2. Get an organizing committee (OC) together
3. OC discusses/decides on format, process, venue, topics, moderator/s
4. OC invites group of bloggers to participate – looking for wide range of views, backgrounds, styles etc
5. Hold discussion and get other bloggers to link it to blogs/forums to stimulate wider discussion and participation
6. Would be interesting to summarize and evaluate the discussion and submit for publication. I have had preliminary contact with Prapanca – a new online publication. Tricycle might be another one to try for considering the portrayal of Buddhist bloggers in “Dharma Wars” article and the ensuing discussion.
Would you, Katie and Nathan be willing to be the organizing committee?
Other thoughts/ideas most welcome!
thanks!
firehorse
I am new to blogging and ask you kindly post this email onto the blog. I could not find the wherewithal.
ReplyDeleteNamaste,
It is indeed a relief to learn others likewise feel the need to dialogue on matters that can sometimes weigh heavy on our hearts. I received your blog link via the Buddhists of Color listserve and feel grateful for the virtual connection.
I am currently fortunate enough to be exploring New Zealand but will be back home mid March. I would then welcome the opportunity to further discuss possibilities about an exchange.
I agree with each of you in many ways. I also agree with John's call for a face to face encounter would bring us greater capacity to genuinely know one another. For me, blogging seems relatively cerebral. Concurrently, for me, diversity and Buddhism demand I journey those challenging few inches below the neck.
I sat with a predominantly Euro sangha in Seattle for 7 years. Eventually, it started to actually hurt physically that I found few reflections of myself in the room although I had many close spiritual friends present. I moved to Oakland to sit with more POC and GLBT folks. Ideas about the subject arise with rapidity and I enjoy meeting this excitment with equal recognition that the energy is also a form of craving. That said, life is just that; meeting desire with wisdom when we can. Adding spiritual practice has made all the difference for me.
firehorse, many thanks for initiating this forum. May we each further express our growing insight and our opening hearts.
John Mifsud
Oakland
johncmifsud@comcast.net